Rambles....

So its Valentines Day and guess what I did really good!!! I wasnt as sad as i thought i would be and guess what else, I even got "supresents" how cool is that??? I know, right? I have been pretty down this week, ok so I'm lying this whole month, but I have made a conscience decision to make it through the fire without even smelling like I walked through it!!! If you need explanation I will gladly explain to you what i mean. I really want to be a better person and a happier person. I love my job, i have friends that love,care and support me, I have a purpose(i'm still not sure what that is yet) I am fearfully and wonderfullly made, what more could i ask for? I still dont know. have you ever just felt like something is still missing and you can't pin-point what it is? well thats kinda how i feel. I know that i can just vent, but i dont even have anything that is bothering me that i want the world to know about. is that wierd?? who knows. something kinda funny, when i see people i know from the nursery outside of the nursery they still call me Ms. Nicole, lol thats just funny to me.... just a side note. so anyhow, another thought that i have been sitting on lately, have you ever thought about giving. i am a giver, i love to give gifts but i give gives not because i want to make someone else happy, well a little bit, but i give gifts because it makes me feel good. i never expect to get anything back but the instant gratification that i get when the other person is happy that they got something so can we ever really give unselfishly?? just some food for thought.