Grumpy Gills

so today i am a little grumpy gills i think that it is because i am tired. I really need a vacation that i can just get away and maybe just lay on the beach somewhere with a pina colada and a good book. I reallly wish that there was a happy pill that i could take that would make everything seem like roses. My little puppy is doing so well he is a terror but i love him anyways. I like to watch him sleep and just be around him he is always so happy and it seems like nothing bothers him. There was a time in my life when i was proposed to, because someone wanted to spend the rest of their life with me, unfortunately he passed away and now i wonder if someone else will ever feel the same about me that they will want to spend the rest of their life with me. do we have soul mates and if we do, do we only have one??? i went to the gym 2 days in a row this week, Good Job Nic... anyways i was feeling a lot bummed today and just thought that i would vent a little bit, i need to pick myself up by the boot straps and get with the program people keep telling me that i have so much going for me but i dont feel that way, i do all the things that i should be doing but i feel like i am just going through the motions, i feel like i am just lost again, that feeling i had when i first got sick, do i cry do i get mad at other people and make them feel bad so that i can feel better, what do i do??? it doesnt make it better to hear about other peoples bad days cause today, there is nothing that seems any worse than the way i feel.